Oh, hi.
It's been awhile. I know. I'm bad. Here's a story to make up for it.
Once upon a time, on a day during which I was frantically baking sheets and sheets of cookies for our Christmas party, I got an unexpected phone call. It was the assistant pastor from our church (aka my brother's father-in-law and our good friend) calling to tell me that our worship leader was leaving unexpectedly, and could I take over?
Sure, I said, hardly believing what I was saying. We talked a bit more. I hung up. I stared at my shaking hands, disbelief coursing through me along with a good bit of adrenaline and panic. I started to do the math in my head. Saturday night. Two services Sunday morning. Wednesday nights. Thursday night practices. What am I doing. I am not cut out for this. I'm not an awesome singer. My guitar skills are…okay. My husband is going to have a heart attack when he realizes how often I'm gonna be gone. What if everyone hates me. What if I fail.
And then…quiet. I felt suddenly like God was saying, "You wanted to be directed, I'm directing you. You aren't good enough for this task, but I'm going to use you despite your own weaknesses." I had peace.
WELL. I still have peace, but I also have a whole lot more to do now, and my creativity has been channeled primarily into finding new music, goofing off on the ukelele, and trying to figure out slide backgrounds and something to do with the hideous fake plants on stage.
But I have had time for a few non-worship things. Like:
Exploring.
Quite a bit of painting.
Lots and LOTS of bike riding.
Running through a probably unhealthy amount of colored powder.
Birthday cake making. (This was a favorite--My niece requested "A rainbow cake with white frosting and gold everywhere and unicorns on top." Challenge: accepted.)
I guess I'm not as frantic as I thought. It's more that I have to choose to either do things, or to blog about those things. It's kind of either/or right now with everything, so I choose life.
On that happy note--see you in six months! Ha.
I love how He ever so gently shows us how to trust His timing and equipping to be exactly what is needed for His glory to be exalted...not our perfection or ability to be admired. :)
ReplyDeleteYour transparency is encouraging and refreshing :)
Awesome post, Jenn. Keep up the good life!
ReplyDeleteLove that you chose life and making wonderful memories with your children! Lovely post.
ReplyDeleteI think then you are doing absolutely FANTASTIC!!! Read your blog because of Stitched in Color, will check back in a few months to see the awesome things you are doing!!! God Bless!
ReplyDeleteBahahahaaa the hideous fake plants on stage!
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, they ugly.
And even more seriously, you're my favorite worship leader and I wish I could sing like you. I'm so glad you accepted the challenge and I look forward to worship every Sunday, whether we make it to church or not! :)
Lauren G